LIMBO

This is the best word to describe my life at the moment. For those who do not know, Limbo means a situation where one seems to be caught between two stages and its unclear what will happen next. Have you ever been in Limbo?

The question I usually ask myself is am I going to make it to the other side. Well, I cannot go back and neither can I move forward. This state makes me helpless and useless and I feel like I am not in control of my life and that's the only thing I need right now; control.You might be wondering why I said my life is  in Limbo, let me break it down for you.

As a therapist I always talk about frames of reference, thus in order to assess and treat a patient you need an understanding or a framework that guides you. Borrowing  from one of the frames of reference, I believe a person is made up of  four components. Namely mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. Among the four components, I define spirituality as the core of a person, thus if there is a problem in the spirit then it manifests in the physical (body), emotional (social) and cognitive  (mental). There is an inter-dependence relationship among the components thus a shift in one component leads to a shift in the other components.

My Limbo started in the spirit about 8 years ago. At first, I told myself that it is growing up, maybe the world is changing and Oh its just a phase it will pass. I did not realize that as the years passed by, I was loosing a piece of myself. Of course when it started it was not showing on the other components, so I was okay with it because it was change in the unseen part so it was all good. As I said before the components are interdependent, so with time it started to show on the outside and being human I did everything I could to cover it up but like pregnancy no-matter how much you try to hide it will show with time.

I tried to move away from this Limbo, but it was like trying to treat cancer with Paracetamol. I did not realize how big the problem was because no-matter how much Panado pills you take if you have cancer it will be there at the end of the day. To treat cancer you would need Chemotherapy and probably Radiotherapy as well as palliative care.

The issue was I did not realize or accept that I had a problem spiritually. Kubler-Ross talks about the stages of grief, which are like to call stages of dying, she says that you start by denial and end with acceptance. She even says that some people can be in denial about a situation for the rest of their lives and never move towards acceptance. For my case I have been in denial for a very long time about my situation. I have been angry about it, bargained to God to help me, have been depressed but I am glad that I have accepted it and that means I can get the help that I need.

D'Apollonio in his book titled, "law of attraction" , talks about how our thoughts affect our realities. This has been one of the best things I have learnt this year and I have been trying to think positively thus changing my outcome. of course thinking is just the tip of the iceberg. The real question is am I willing to work so that I can move from this Limbo, or am I going to turn a blind eye to the situation as I have been doing for years. As we all know, habits are not easy to break because you will be now used to a certain way of life. I am glad that I have realized that there is a problem and I believe I am moving towards the exit door of Limbo.

THE END.

Please leave comments on my writing skills and anything in particular. Thank you for reading.